If I Shoot One Squirrel, I Might Have the Energy to Cage the Other

Getting a Grip on Proscrastination

It is easy to procrastinate and hope and pray that things will just work themselves out. To take action is a far more challenging choice. Taking action in any situation forces us to look at ourselves from a place of blunt honesty and let’s just admit it right now - that’s scary. Once upon a time in the not so distant past I had a boss who said, “Jamie when you get off track, you fix yourself. I don’t have to worry about that.”

At the root of his comment was that I am one of those people who will stand back and observe my own behavior, pick it apart and fix it. What he didn’t know was that when I feel there is a part of me that requires fixing and I don’t have the tools, time or energy to repair it – I will procrastinate and wait for the situation to fix itself.

As I have learned, that is not reality. I am not saying you have to manhandle every predicament you’re in. I’m saying you have to allow yourself the presence of mind and the strength of being to face it. If you don’t, and the chips fall where they may, you cannot be upset when they don’t fall in your favor. We all know that you cannot force life to do what you want at all times, but you can engage and be an active participant in your own destiny.

At present I am faced with a couple of different and unrelated matters that are contentious in my life. It is as if there are two squirrels, both rabid, running around in my head, and they will not be stopped until I quit procrastinating and deal.*Instead, I am mimicking the behavior of said fictitious, metaphoric squirrels. I am bouncing all over the place, unable to slow down and face my destiny. My emotions, my thought processes, my plans of attack, change from minute to minute and I can’t seem to get control of myself long enough to make solid choices.

What to do? Step one is to isolate each situation. One is personal. One is professional. Both are built on a foundation called Fear of Failure. ** In both situations, from my perspective, there is a lot to be lost. I could indeed end up crushed in both instances, never to recover - not to my standards at least. Dithering in my own muck and mire of emotional chaos is not going to solve these problems. Professionally, I have the control. It is up to me to make the commitment to the change and redirect my energies. Personally, I am at a bit of a disadvantage, because I am waiting on someone else to say it is okay to proceed.

Here’s where we become fixers. The issue you can execute control over should be taken on first. Why? Because the personal power we derive from the act of engagement will support you in coping with the less manageable issue. It is just the same as learning to balance on one leg. You eventually learn which muscles to engage if you want to keep from repeatedly falling on your ass. In this case our perseverance, our ability to stop procrastinating and move forward becomes the muscle you need to face fear and bitch slap it right in the mouth.

Did you feel that? It’s a little spark that will no doubt turn into a flame, then a fire that drives you to make strong choices. It is the inferno that will free you from apathetic tendencies. This week I am taking on my professional self and making the change I see as a necessity. Personally, I am choosing not to lollygag and say what I need to say and hope for the best. I hope that whatever the cause of your procrastination, you take it to task and find an outcome that suits you and those it affects. Peace be with you as you engage in a battle of wills with your own subconscious.  

150 Pound Wish

Wishes and dreams are what ignite the flame that gives us the fire and desire to achieve our ideal selves. If you want to be thinner, smarter, more organized, or at the top of the corporate heap – your wishes are where it all begins.  Those wishes turn into dreams which become the visualization we all need to propel ourselves into our preferred existence.

Visualization is key to the process of creating the plan that will eventually put us where we want to be. Eight years ago I had an idea of the business I wanted to own. I wished for many reasons to be out on my own. Freedom was the first motivating factor for me. I have always struggled with being told what to do and even though I shined as an exemplary employee who consistently executed assigned tasks, deep down, I wanted to be choosing my tasks – walking my own path.

I began to examine the skills I had that could help me to construct a viable business that would not only support me but some of the creative professionals in my circle. Being a writer, photographer and an ad wiz I could offer beginning services in those areas but it was my ability to create long term business relationships that proved to be my best asset. I spent three years thinking about it while I worked with my father on our family business and after tragedy struck there, it took me three more years in printing and publishing to take myself seriously.

I know, I know – six years of wishing, dreaming and visualizing? Who has time for that? You do. If you could forecast the next six years of your life and foresee all the time you might waste on things that do not yield the ‘you’ you’re striving to be, that tune of yours might change.  The six years was a necessary period of time for me. It may be two weeks, a month or a period of years before you get to your starting point.  I’m Slow Sally in that regard, I really need to process before I plunge into the depths of the unknown and learn how to swim.

Back on track, I started small; I took a side job here and there. I quietly marketed my skills to people I knew personally and professionally, I did a lot of work just to round out my portfolio. I laid that foundation down so that when the right opportunity presented itself I’d be ready to meet it and make it a worthwhile venture. From there I slowly began to pick up more work and eventually got the opportunity to branch out and bring on my trusted graphic designer friend, Harald Hohendorf.

Two years down the road we’ve expanded our team to include an additional designer and our technology solutions engineer who specializes in developing web sites, social media programs and all of the techie bells and whistles that come with the territory. The wish has changed shape from its beginning form, but it is better than I ever hoped it could be. Whatever you wish for, you can make happen even if it is a little different than you perceived it to be. That which we put our minds to, that we make a priority on some level, can be real. The world is ours for the taking.

This week I am applying the same wishing, dreaming, visualizing scheme to me, the human being. I do believe I am finally ready to make some personal changes on several fronts. I’m quartering my to-do’s into bite sized pieces so that I can realize the me I want to be. I hope you will take a chance this week on a wish, dream big and take a step toward visualizing all the things you want out of life.

It's Your Space, Own It

So, I know, I am two weeks behind on posting something practical that you can put to good use. I owe you, my faithful five readers, an apology. Life has been a jumbled up mess of madness as of late. Note the new photo and theme. It’s crazy, I feel crazy – it is what it is.  If I could scream virtually, I would.

Life is always going to hurl something at you that thumps you in the side of the head forcing you to ask yourself, “What the hell did I do to deserve that?” I know, the side of your head is starting to swell, the kids are screaming, the boss is yelling, your significant other is dumping you. It sucks!

Here is my ice pack for you:

It’s easy to feel like the victim in nearly every area of our lives. We reach out and someone slaps our hand away. You throw a good idea into the brainstorming pool and get rejected while your coworker who presents the same damned idea gets the kudos. We’re left feeling low because it seems like we always get the fecal end of the stick.

In my line or lines of work it is very easy to get my ego banged up. After all, as a creative person I am throwing my craft on the mercy of my clients and hoping they will not only like it, but buy it. Every word I write for someone else, each photo I take is subject to criticism. It is the same thing in my personal life; I share way more than I should. I don’t keep secrets for the most part and I try my level best to put the needs of others above my own.

All of these things can quickly snowball making us feel like we just can’t win or as if we are the victim of others, our work or whatever labels you feeling like slapping on the participating parties in your life. Being a victim is not always your choice. Choosing to feel like, behave as if, etc. are your choice. You can elect to rise above the battery of someone else and forge ahead like the brave soldier I know you are.

It is okay to feel bad about a situation. It is okay to breakdown sometimes and not have all the answers. It is not okay to chronically portray yourself as a victim. “But why? That’s how I feel.” Yes, you may very well feel that way and it may or may not be valid. The reason why you should not portray yourself as a victim is simple, victims get trapped in a continuous cycle of scenarios that encourage their further victimization. I have been an actual victim in several situations in my life including just last week when someone boosted my laptop in broad daylight and right in front of me no less. It is difficult to overcome all of the baggage victimization brings.

What I have learned is this: The energy that I wasted over years of trying to cope with being a victim could have been put to much better use.  As I have evolved as a person I have developed a keen skill for channeling that energy. I look to my work as an opportunity to assert myself, that’s why I write poetry. I seek out things that bring me fulfillment like my friends and family. I read and listen to music that helps me to release that negative energy.

As human beings we have so much potential and power in our own lives. When we feel attacked, assaulted or victimized, it is up to us to summon our own power and overcome that which makes us feel weak. Whether it is your boss, coworker, family member, friend or even a criminal – do not give them the satisfaction of robbing you of your right to be the master of your own destiny.

This week my goal is to assert myself in a couple of very chaotic, unclear situations in my own life. This doesn’t mean that I am intending to be a jerk or anything of the sort. This means while I am taking into account the feelings of others and the circumstances of the situation I am going to do what is best for all concerned and put myself at the top of that list. I hope that even if you start with something small, you will do the same. Best for a week of owning "that spot that you stand in".

Great Ideas: Don’t Hate, Collaborate

Some of the best work I have seen comes from the collaboration of many rather than the good idea of one. What does that mean, really? It means that even when we feel we have that aha moment, that career-changing, life altering idea bringing key players into the mix to develop it, is indeed a smart plan.

“But, but it’s my idea!” you exclaim whilst folding your arms and stomping around like a two year old (I do this on a regular basis). Yes, the idea is yours but some of us are made to generate the ideas and some execute the plans that make those ideas real. I hear another “but” coming, just because we choose to collaborate does not nullify our good, great or grand idea. It is still the collateral of our minds, it still belongs to us.

If we were to define collaboration, especially in the creative arena, we would find it is rather simple. Collaboration consists of seeking out individuals who possess the skills to help you in generating a plan to put your idea into practice. If I, as the owner of a creative services company, think up a way to make Facebook easier for our clients to use - I look to my team to take my idea and throw constructive feedback my way and aid me in developing processes to make it work in the real world.

I look to my design guru to take my sketches and create engaging visuals, I look to my technology solutions engineer to manufacture actual working applications. We then work together as team to bring this idea into fruition and deliver a salable product to our clients. It all seems very simple.  But that little ego inside of you wants to isolate the idea and hoard it away from the collaborators who can help you realize it. It is the poor choice not to tape that frisky little ego’s mouth shut that leaves so many amazing ideas doomed to live life on the drawing board.

The failure to collaborate with the minds in your sphere is a critical error in judgment. We want to throw all kinds of variables on the table: They might steal my idea. It won’t be the same as the way I thought it up. They will take my idea and ruin it. There are two things that cry out for attention here: Fear and mistrust. If you cannot trust your collaborators, get new ones. If you fear for any reason at all, including the preservation of the integrity of your idea - LET IT GO! Fear and mistrust derail the creative process.

These elements of fear and mistrust are why we hear so many people say things like, “Dang why didn’t I think of that?” Truth is, you probably did think of it, you just chose not to collaborate therefore your idea never made it past the fleeting thought stage.

This week collaborate on something. It doesn’t need to be a huge, grandiose undertaking. It can be something simple. Try collaborating on an easy way to rearrange furniture in your home or office to make the flow of the space more comfortable. Ask the people in your life to toss their hat in the ring and see what solutions they offer for making your idea a reality.

Helpful Links:

Define It

Learn More About

Steps to Collaboration

1.       Look for individuals who possess skills that compliment your own.

2.       Examine your idea and decide what types of skills you might need to put theory into practice.

3.       Use the tools around you to locate collaborators: Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, and Referrals from friend and colleagues.

4.       Make notes on your idea so that you are prepared for collaboration.

5.       Get an actual or virtual whiteboard.

What do I do when the fruit of collaboration is contrary to my idea?

Keep in Touch for Next Week's Post:

Reworking the Collaborative Process

Choosing which elements of a conceptualized idea work and do not work.

Coming in February:

Constructively Criticizing: The Art of Giving Useful Feedback

When to Put Your Hard Hat On and When to Take It Off

Check Your Hot Head at the Door

Communicating ideas positively and productively

My name is Jamie McCormack and I am a hot head. I regularly catch myself in situations where I would like to symbolically rip someone’s throat out for reasons that don’t warrant the behavior.  Why? As a human being I have, like most people do, a tendency to believe that I am right 99% of the time.  Like most of the people on the planet I have way too much on my plate and suffer from a severe lack of sleep which tends to impair my judgment on a regular basis. Now that I have made excuses for my behavior; lets discuss the many ways to avoid making other people feel like losers when we could exhibit a skill called tact and help them on their way to seeing our point of view.

We are always going to have situations with other people that make us feel crazy. These episodes bring thoughts into our minds that make us wonder how it is that people can be so daft.  Pause right here. This is the kind of thinking that gets the hot head into hot water, fast. If we rewind to the onset of our opinion - breathe, focus and think we will be able to see that everyone cannot be held to the standards we hold for ourselves.  Our standards, our ideas are just that – ours. We cannot expect that the world share our vision or our tastes. What we must do is be open to the ideas of others and when we find ourselves in disagreement have the patience to propose dialogue that offers constructive criticism rather than a balls-out anger-laced judgment.

I continuously become angry with myself when I do not exercise diplomacy. Diplomacy comes naturally to me especially when I am indirectly involved in a tete-a-tete. If I were to employ the skill of patience and some of the tact noted above, I could reserve the energy wasted on badmouthing someone and do something kind or creative with it. Let’s put this to practice in a scenario so that we can see what the possible outcomes of our behavior can be:

Mrs. Smite is an art teacher; she has a student that she adores because he is bright and creative. His name is Johnny Upanddown. Johnny frequently has good ideas but they often veer away from what Mrs. Smite sees as correct or meeting the standards of her class. The assignment she gives Johnny is to draw a picture of a lake; she would like him to include wildlife that is natural to the area, plants, people and whatever Johnny perceives to belong at the lake. (Let’s keep in mind that art is all about perception – she is giving him parameters but also asking for his perception)

Johnny proceeds to create his picture, he places a duck here, a goose there and draws a person sitting on a bench. For his grand finale, Johnny draws a large purple tree growing up out of a bright orange lake. He gleefully trots toward her desk to turn in his masterpiece. Mrs. Smite raises and eyebrow above her glasses. An orange lake? A purple tree? What in the hell is this? We all know there is no such thing. The following conversation ensues:

Mrs. Smite: Johnny, this is terrible. Do it again and do it the way I told you to do it.

Johnny: Okay, but that is what I saw when I was at a lake.

Mrs. Smite: There is no way you saw this. It is wrong. Do it again.

Johnny: But I saw it and I know it’s real.

Mrs. Smite: Johnny, this is a poor representation of a lake. Now do it again.

Johnny returns to his desk, defeated. He continues throughout his day confused and angered by his exchange with Mrs. Smite. Downtrodden and feeling powerless, Johnny picks a fight with another boy on the playground and is subsequently suspended from school and charged with bullying by the local police. Mrs. Smite cannot understand why such a good boy would do such a stupid and terrible thing.

Well, it looks like Mrs. Smite is unable to see how her lack of patience and inability to communicate in a constructive way led Johnny to feel so much frustration that he acted out of character and found himself in a heap of trouble. Let’s change the conversation and see how the day may have changed for Johnny if Mrs. Smite had breathed, focused and thought before she spoke:

Mrs. Smite: Johnny, this is an interesting representation of a lake. Do you want to tell me about it?

Johnny: Well, I was fishing with my dad and the sun started to set. It turned the water orange and a tree that had fallen during a storm was sticking up out of the water and looked like it was growing there. Some of the color from the water reflected on the tree and made it look blue from far away.

Mrs. Smite: That is very different. I have never seen that before. I had a very different idea of the lake in mind. Do you think you could draw another picture of the lake in the daylight so that I can see what it looks like then?  

Johnny: Yes, I can.

Johnny retreats to his desk excited to create a picture of the lake in the daylight for Mrs. Smite. After school Johnny goes home to share the two pictures he made at school with his mom. Elated that her son made not only one, but two pictures she fixes him a hot fudge sundae and Johnny goes to bed with a slight stomach ache but satisfied that he did a good job in Mrs. Smite’s class.

This illustration shows how taking a moment to recognize a difference of opinion, mentally sort it out and respond with constructive dialogue made an impact on the overall outcome of the situation. If we can cool our heads before exploding on another person we may unknowingly change the outcome of their day, week, month, year, and possibly their life.

This week I am going to challenge myself to leave my hot head at the door of a challenging situation. I am going to challenge myself to take twenty seconds to put myself in someone else’s shoes and open dialogue that promotes a positive outcome. I hope that you will do the same and tell me about it. I’d liketo hear how you’ve successfully avoided taking some unwitting soul to the gallows over something trivial.