Why Can’t I Be Like That?

It’s no secret that each and every one of us has a shortcoming or two; likewise we can’t deny that we have noticed a quality or physical attribute we quietly admire in another human being and wish we possessed. Sometimes the world spins off its axis and we find ourselves lost in mental battery and discord with ourselves. For me, I imagine that the cosmos are doing the hokey pokey on my dime. Every single thing in my life seems out of whack and without purpose. A dear friend noted that I am as far from my True North as I have ever been. If my soul compass is broken how will I ever find my way back to my path?

If I stopped looking at this mystical compass as broken and began to look at it as pointing me in a different direction, then I might not feel so soul broke. Alas, I am human and feel like the Universe bitch slapped me and the sting has lasted for nearly 12 months. I’ve found myself trapped inside my own brain pouring over long dead messages like, “You’re not good enough,” and “Everyone can have a life except you.” It’s sick, I know. It is the situation at hand nonetheless. How do I remedy the problem or how do you if you’re suffering the same affliction?

Jumping Off the Crazy Train

For me, I have once again picked up “You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise L. Hay. This is about the fifth time I have started the work that needs to be done in order to experience the love and joy in life I know I deserve. The work is harder now because I am older and I find it harder to bullshit myself into believing the status of me is the fault of someone else. Your leap may be something very different. Where and when you step off the crazy train is a decision only you can make. Let’s break it down into some common themes all of us may have struggled with in our lives. I’ll even be the guinea pig, test monkey and bear it all example.

The Body

“Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size…” – Maya Angelou

If I were to be brutally honest I could offer that I once felt the confidence of the magical essence of “Phenomenal Woman” but somehow I allowed that gift to slip through my fingers. It worked for me and simultaneously scared the crap out of me. Each and every person I know would most likely change at least one thing about his or her body if given the opportunity. You might will lost hair back to your head, drop 10 or 50 pounds, make your curly hair straight or a flabby tummy taut.  If I, or we, are as evolved as we think, these things ought not matter. But, they do matter even if only to ourselves. Before we can have glorious perfect us, we have to accept ourselves as we are right now. (I am really going to walk over to the mirror and do this now) Pick out one thing that you like and think on it, love it and allow the confidence boost to tickle your fancy. Now, the real challenge will be how long we can run with it. Look at yourself in the mirror every day and repeat. Next week pick something new even if it is your perfectly pedicured little toes.

The Mind

“I will not walk through my mind with dirty feet.” – Mahatma Ghandi

Holy mackerel! If Ghandi didn’t just school us with one sentence, then the Earth is not round. The murky undertones of life’s traumas have a way of invading our sacred mental space. It often feels as if only the truly conscious can ever rise above the bubbling cesspool of the past. I’ve got an awful and uncanny ability to dip my toes into said muck and mire and dwell. I’m carrying a backpack full of ugly on this journey through a black forest known as It’s Over. Right now, today before I drag the dirt into my headspace I am going to imagine washing the dirt off my feet before I enter into the holy temple of my mind. If I have to do it a hundred times a day – I deserve the refreshing release of pains gone by and so do you.

The Spirit

“Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.”
― Albert Einstein

Let us marry the thoughts of Einstein and Ghandi to create a spirit within ourselves that is free of dirty feet and violent opposers. My spirit has been challenged and at times I felt like it has flat out fallen down and accepted some absolutely unnecessary abuse from my addiction to negativity and my experiences. Today, I will give up my guns and I will become a conscientious objector to the war of thoughts and words in my head that are hell bent on breaking my spirit. Instead, I will rise up and choose Love over every thing that stems from some other misplaced emotion. I will nurture my spirit by giving it back its freedom, creativity and hope.

Hey, wake up! This testimonial is almost over and you can go back to tweetering or whatever it is you do throughout the day. There is a shift in consciousness happening right now and soon it will explode into a gift of absolute self-acceptance. Let’s get on board and grab a bit for us and share it with those who need it the most. 

Keeping It Personal: Thoughts on Managing Your Social Media Persona (s)

Disclaimer: Consider your social media audience; is it just your close friends? Do you have the business/personal life combo? Is your pastor your “friend”? If you are good at keeping your personal and professional lives from colliding online then you can meter how you see fit bearing in mind what's online is forever.

 

Collectively as people we desire to connect to with others to celebrate our accomplishments, mourn our defeats and garner support when we feel mistreated or victimized. As a society, we want to be in the know. We actually take an interest in what Snooki eats for breakfast or doesn’t for that matter, we want to investigate and require visual evidence that Ron Paul once posed for a photo with a known white supremacist. Secretly or not so secretly we want people to want to know about us too.

It’s only human to want to be noticed and appreciated. Unfortunately that attention can turn negative on a dime. Without a public relations team at the ready to save us from ourselves, we can go from adored to abhorred in no time. We have to get savvy about monitoring our own image in a social media venue. It is tough to resist the urge to divulge every detail of our lives in a semi-public forum. It is equally hard not to succumb to the attention that sharing the dirty dish brings.

Case in point:

Like so many people my personal and professional lives overlap online.  For the first year or so that I used Facebook I was dangerously open about all aspects of my life. I became very sick two years ago. I had seen many people post about injuries, illnesses, surgeries, divorces, etc. and it brought me pause about my own situation. I had two choices – I could publicly disclose the status of my health and gain the sympathy of a percentage of my then four or five hundred friends. Or I could keep my virtual mouth shut and seek support from my family and close friends. I chose to keep it to myself only sharing with people I encountered in person. In my opinion that was the smartest choice I could have made. It taught me a lesson in restraint and gave me a good meter for deciphering what should and should not be public information.

How do we stop ourselves from clicking that tempting “share” button and keep what should be private, private?   The easiest way is to start connecting with those close to us by engaging on the level we used to before we became social media junkies.  Phone a friend, visit your mom and dad, or better yet invite someone for coffee and a good old-fashioned conversation. You wouldn’t invite a colleague or an acquaintance over for a look at your panty drawer so why would you put it online for everyone to see?

Self-editing is our ally. I am not encouraging you to lie about your life but remember that you and your existence are important – they are not fodder for office chatter or social gossip. Keep these things in mind when you’re weighing whether or not to share: 

-Humor doesn’t always translate

-Personal struggles, relationship breakdowns and the most intimate details of your life shouldn’t be offered up into a public forum for debate or criticism or someone's entertainment.

-Real support comes from the people who love you – not the people who friend you. 

-It is very easy to type a condolence or congratulations but it is the truly conscientious individual who chooses a more personal form of communication.

My challenge for myself this week is to pay attention to what I say online and attempt to look at it from the perspective of others. I challenge you to do the same.  Reach out to someone who is important to you and have a conversation. Let that person be excited for you, console you or laugh with you and be the same for them. Cheers for a week of being truly connected with your community.