So, I know, I am two weeks behind on posting something practical that you can put to good use. I owe you, my faithful five readers, an apology. Life has been a jumbled up mess of madness as of late. Note the new photo and theme. It’s crazy, I feel crazy – it is what it is. If I could scream virtually, I would.
Life is always going to hurl something at you that thumps you in the side of the head forcing you to ask yourself, “What the hell did I do to deserve that?” I know, the side of your head is starting to swell, the kids are screaming, the boss is yelling, your significant other is dumping you. It sucks!
Here is my ice pack for you:
It’s easy to feel like the victim in nearly every area of our lives. We reach out and someone slaps our hand away. You throw a good idea into the brainstorming pool and get rejected while your coworker who presents the same damned idea gets the kudos. We’re left feeling low because it seems like we always get the fecal end of the stick.
In my line or lines of work it is very easy to get my ego banged up. After all, as a creative person I am throwing my craft on the mercy of my clients and hoping they will not only like it, but buy it. Every word I write for someone else, each photo I take is subject to criticism. It is the same thing in my personal life; I share way more than I should. I don’t keep secrets for the most part and I try my level best to put the needs of others above my own.
All of these things can quickly snowball making us feel like we just can’t win or as if we are the victim of others, our work or whatever labels you feeling like slapping on the participating parties in your life. Being a victim is not always your choice. Choosing to feel like, behave as if, etc. are your choice. You can elect to rise above the battery of someone else and forge ahead like the brave soldier I know you are.
It is okay to feel bad about a situation. It is okay to breakdown sometimes and not have all the answers. It is not okay to chronically portray yourself as a victim. “But why? That’s how I feel.” Yes, you may very well feel that way and it may or may not be valid. The reason why you should not portray yourself as a victim is simple, victims get trapped in a continuous cycle of scenarios that encourage their further victimization. I have been an actual victim in several situations in my life including just last week when someone boosted my laptop in broad daylight and right in front of me no less. It is difficult to overcome all of the baggage victimization brings.
What I have learned is this: The energy that I wasted over years of trying to cope with being a victim could have been put to much better use. As I have evolved as a person I have developed a keen skill for channeling that energy. I look to my work as an opportunity to assert myself, that’s why I write poetry. I seek out things that bring me fulfillment like my friends and family. I read and listen to music that helps me to release that negative energy.
As human beings we have so much potential and power in our own lives. When we feel attacked, assaulted or victimized, it is up to us to summon our own power and overcome that which makes us feel weak. Whether it is your boss, coworker, family member, friend or even a criminal – do not give them the satisfaction of robbing you of your right to be the master of your own destiny.
This week my goal is to assert myself in a couple of very chaotic, unclear situations in my own life. This doesn’t mean that I am intending to be a jerk or anything of the sort. This means while I am taking into account the feelings of others and the circumstances of the situation I am going to do what is best for all concerned and put myself at the top of that list. I hope that even if you start with something small, you will do the same. Best for a week of owning "that spot that you stand in".
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